Raw Straight Talk Express: Sapphire, Emerald, Ruby, Diamond
Eric Ho
Issue date: 5/28/09 Section: Opinions
Welcome back Union College and the Class of 2013. Summer is over and classes are underway. This is the third installment to the four-year series of raw straight talk express and this season's premiere article focuses on the first year experience.
Freshmen year can be difficult and confusing, and yet, at the same time can be the best times of your life. Fellow straight talking maverick and lyrical words-smith wizard, Scott Malcomson '11 agrees. As a first year student Scott Malcomson was neither fresh nor a man but with Just For Men hair conditioner, he was able to rid himself of the difficult grey areas of being a first year student and embark on something special.
It can be difficult being a first year Padowan among upper class Jedi Masters - you're segregated by first year resident halls, dinning halls, and Greek life. As a noobie, Scott Malcomson never worried about getting Pwned or toggle crouched on by grade four generals because when given lemons, Malcomson does not make lemonade, he grows lemon trees, Girugamesh.
Academics in my opinion aren't the biggest concern for first year students, its maintaining their emotional and physical health. The freshmen 15? If I had to guess, you can easily break 30 by October. Should you worry about catching Swine flu? No, just stay away from Dora the Explorer and you'll be fine. Marijuana = Illegal and alcohol = 21 years but if you're a raw maverick like Scott Malcomson you measure your blood alcohol level with a compass.
Schenectady is a interesting place, be careful late at night prepare for trouble, and make it double, to protect the world from devastation, to unite all people within our nation, to denounce the evil of truth and love, to extend our reach to the stars above. Call campus safety if danger arises.
Is it a good idea to buy a pet for your dorm room? Sure go ahead, personally I found it difficult fitting a baleen whale and Clifford, the big red dog into my freshman dorm room.
College theft is another concern Union has been dealing with as of late, so keep your eyes open for suspicious individuals walking around campus with a giant TV, preferably my Vizio.
Sludge, it's only funny when it happens to someone else.
If you have learned anything from this paid presentation from PBS kids it is to not pull a Scott Malcomson and play supreme commander all day, sleep all night, never go to class, and getting kicked out of every single fraternity on campus just because he believed being straight edge meant he was better than everyone else. PF Chang. Cherish your four years here as gems and know that "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing" -Edmund Burke. I'm Eric Ho and that's the raw straight talk.
Freshmen year can be difficult and confusing, and yet, at the same time can be the best times of your life. Fellow straight talking maverick and lyrical words-smith wizard, Scott Malcomson '11 agrees. As a first year student Scott Malcomson was neither fresh nor a man but with Just For Men hair conditioner, he was able to rid himself of the difficult grey areas of being a first year student and embark on something special.
It can be difficult being a first year Padowan among upper class Jedi Masters - you're segregated by first year resident halls, dinning halls, and Greek life. As a noobie, Scott Malcomson never worried about getting Pwned or toggle crouched on by grade four generals because when given lemons, Malcomson does not make lemonade, he grows lemon trees, Girugamesh.
Academics in my opinion aren't the biggest concern for first year students, its maintaining their emotional and physical health. The freshmen 15? If I had to guess, you can easily break 30 by October. Should you worry about catching Swine flu? No, just stay away from Dora the Explorer and you'll be fine. Marijuana = Illegal and alcohol = 21 years but if you're a raw maverick like Scott Malcomson you measure your blood alcohol level with a compass.
Schenectady is a interesting place, be careful late at night prepare for trouble, and make it double, to protect the world from devastation, to unite all people within our nation, to denounce the evil of truth and love, to extend our reach to the stars above. Call campus safety if danger arises.
Is it a good idea to buy a pet for your dorm room? Sure go ahead, personally I found it difficult fitting a baleen whale and Clifford, the big red dog into my freshman dorm room.
College theft is another concern Union has been dealing with as of late, so keep your eyes open for suspicious individuals walking around campus with a giant TV, preferably my Vizio.
Sludge, it's only funny when it happens to someone else.
If you have learned anything from this paid presentation from PBS kids it is to not pull a Scott Malcomson and play supreme commander all day, sleep all night, never go to class, and getting kicked out of every single fraternity on campus just because he believed being straight edge meant he was better than everyone else. PF Chang. Cherish your four years here as gems and know that "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing" -Edmund Burke. I'm Eric Ho and that's the raw straight talk.
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