Concordiensis

Issue date: 2/1/07 Section: Sports

Media Credit: thebear.com The city of Chicago is hoping Rex Grossman will lead them to their second Vince Lombardi Trophy.

Sexy Time! That's right, it is sexy time my friends, however, it's not Borat's sexy time, its Sexy Rexy's and the Chicago Bears. The Superbowl is a few days away and I still can't believe the Bears are playing for the Lombardi trophy. In honor of the Bears and the city of Chicago, I feel it is only fitting to write this article in the way a true Bears fan thinks, similar to Bill Swerski and the Superfans.

When the Bears entered the playoffs, no one knew if they could make it to Miami. They lost their first game last year to the Carolina Panthers after Steve Smith decided to play a madden card and cheat. Simple as that. This year the Bears faced the Seahawks, the defending NFC champions and took care of them. The Bears obviously allowed the game to be close, so every single analyst and expert would pick the Saints. Smart choice experts, as the Bears demolished the hopes and dreams of a fairytale season for those Saints.

I have heard many grumblings over the past couple of weeks about how the Bears ruined the Saints season and how it would have been amazing to see the city of New Orleans in the Superbowl. That would be great but who would you rather see in the Superbowl, a bunch of Saints or God? Now many of you must have forgotten that the Bears actually have God on their side. Who is God, well he also goes by another one word name, Ditka. Some of you are saying "ya know Ditka doesn't coach the Bears anymore," well that's hogwash. Ditka is always looking down on the Bears as he is the God of Chicago and football. What does this guy not do? He's an actor, as was robbed of not getting nominated for best supporting actor in Kicking and Screaming, he owns a restaurant in Chicago that has all the finest meats anyone could ever want and he even has his own wine with the best bottle called "Kick Ass Red" (that is not a joke).

With Ditka on their side, the Bears have as good a chance to lose the Superbowl as Brett Favre does not throwing an interception in a game. What I'm trying to say my friends is that the Superbowl is a done deal. What do the Bears have to worry about, Peyton Manning? ESPN and other networks continue to talk about how Peyton will have had two weeks to watch film and he'll be able to slice through the Bears defense. The only problem is, you can't slice through perfection unless of course you're having a delicious sausage pizza from Giordano's which has also been known to be perfection.

Continued...

Page 1 of 2 next >

Article Tools